Au Revoir
by UrbanAuthor
Summary: How in one second, so many things can be thought, unexplainable things, insane, idiotic, yet just so perfect. How in one second, Clara remembers The Doctor. With the little they have left, all that matters, all that ever did, was that one second. "Au Revoir...goodbye, until we meet again." (Eleven and Clara One-Shot/Regeneration Fiction)


**A/N: I'm sorry, I had to write this. One Republic's song, _Au Revoir _is just too beautiful, and I maybe even cried a bit. Describes Eleven's Regeneration, from Clara's point of view. **

* * *

**_Au Revoir_**

_Today I'm not myself,_  
_And you, you're someone else,_  
_And all these rules don't fit,_  
_And all that starts can quit._

_What a peculiar state we're in._  
_What a peculiar state we're in._

_Let's play a game._  
_Where all of the lives we lead can change._  
_Let's play a game,_  
_Where nothing that we can see, the same._

_We'll find other pieces to the puzzles,_  
_Slipping out under the locks,_  
_I can show you how many moves to check mate right now._  
_We can take apart this life we're building,_  
_And pack it up inside a box._  
_All that really matters is we're doing it right now,_  
_Right now._

_You stare at me...with your **big**, **sad**, __**beautiful**__ **green** eyes...almost as if they were telling me something. That something wasn't right, and that something would never be the same again. Those green eyes that had seen six hundred years of flawlessly imperfect infinity. Your eyes kept staring at me...as if they would never be looking at me ever again._

_I stared back at you, dubiety the portrait of my eyes, for understanding was out of my reach. **What are you telling me?** I wanted to ask, but my courage was lost, the song in my voice lost. I just kept staring at you._

_I thought that we were still okay; that everything wouldn't change... just so easily._

_But being wrong had never been so desolate.  
_

_Doctor..._

_...why..._

_...this once..._

_...can't you just say something..._

_...__**anything**__..._

_...to prevent from you dropping my heart?_

_Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you **love** just __**change**__ in a matter of seconds, to know that you **can't** do **anything** about it?  
_

_To believe that just a few,__** precious**__ seconds ago, we were just fine? _

_At least...a few hours for me._

_It's been years for you._

_**Do you still remember me?**  
_

_All those years ago, when I __**broke**__ myself into a million pieces...**for you**._

_And then you leave me.  
_

_Three times Doctor... and I'm __**trying **__to let it go.  
_

_...but something tells me that it doesn't matter anymore. _

_You've done so much as to __**kill**__ yourself now, the last strand of your life just so **abused**, until there was nothing left to damage?  
_

_You'll be fine. You just change._

_It's me who falls._

_It's like we're in a diversion, playing a game that is so **easy **for you to win.  
_

_A diversion of transfiguration, a game of **bittersweet betrayal**, a game, that, after all we've seen, all we've done, everything that we had been put through, is played in between us.  
_

_And you're winning._

_In my dreams, in my messed-up disfiguration that is my imagination, we're not playing that game._

_We're playing a game in which nothing matters. That you're still you, and I am I. _

_Someone new will come along..._

_...someone completely different..._

_...still you..._

_...but just not you. _

_You, __**you**__ Doctor, __**my **__Doctor._

**_I just want you to remember me._**

_**I hope you still do.** _

_With the little remedies that you still hold. _

**_...remember?_**

_You tell me all these things about how everybody changes, but somehow, I'm just not listening. _

_I can't even say anything._

_To know, that __**you **__just won't be seen ever again. _

_The first face I saw._

_**The last face you'll ever see.** _

_I want to tell you...**so badly**..._

_Your **charismatic**, **gravitational**, **beautiful**...and just __**insane**__. _

_A king in a game of chess, ahead of everyone. _

_And me, a pawn, not deserving the right to play._

_And yet, you were always there with me._

_But this time, in this match, death got the best of you._

_I'm still in, but without you, I hold no use._

_Eleven. **My** Doctor._

_I'll have to go on without you._

_You smile at me, a smile that softens my heart and makes me smile back. _

_For once, this moment, this one __**delicate**__ moment, you staring at me, and me staring at you..._

_I just want everything to stop. Nothing to change. Just you...standing there...so __**beautiful**__._

_But nothing lasts._

_And...it's almost at the point in which you're already gone.  
_

_I remember everything we ever did together..._

_I remember when I saw you sitting on that swing, bothering me like an idiotic lunatic outside my door, how you could just know things so easily, things that **nobody **knew, how you could easily beat me any day, taking me to places that I'll __**never **__see by myself, seeing things that will never be unseen. _

_I've seen all of you._

_But __**you **__started it all._

_I'll place everything into a box, everything we did, and I'll lock it, safe from everything, safe from the outside, so that I may one day open it, look back on it, and remember._

_But all that matters is this moment that is flickering away from us like hopeless windswept candlelight, staring at each other, wishing that everything didn't have to change, but then again, where would the we without change? Nowhere._

_That's something that I just have to believe._

_But as of now, that's rather hard._

_But for now...for the things ahead of me..._

_I'll still remember that your two hearts will always stay the same. _

_And we'll have adventures together, whoever mad alien comes after you._

_I'm having to somehow start again._

_Maybe we'll find missing pieces, things that I never really knew about you, things that you never really knew about yourself. Maybe we'll open doors that never thought existed, falling into something that we never knew was possible, just because we can. Maybe we'll be separate, with whatever happens to me, or maybe I'll be waiting for you, still waiting to hear the sound of your time machine outside my window. _

_Who knows? Maybe I'll grow to accept that._

_But...I'll never forget you._

_I hope you remember me._

_Au Revoir._

**_Goodbye, until we meet again._**


End file.
